


Before There Was You

by baby2steph



Category: GOT7
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-02-11 08:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12931881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby2steph/pseuds/baby2steph
Summary: Jackson brushes Mark's hair away from his face."You're beautiful." he says fondly.Mark wrinkles his nose in protest. Jackson smiles tenderly at him."You are."Mark's life has always been hard. He thinks his world is dull. Then Jackson comes along.





	1. Then Came You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Markson fan fiction. English is not my first language. I am sorry if there are lots of errors. I hope you guys enjoy this!

Jackson slams his tray on the table before he sits down. Jinyoung narrows his eyes at him meanwhile Jaebum just sigh. Jaebum and Jinyoung know that Jackson is in a very bad mood. His face tells them everything.

 

"What is it _again_?" Jaebum asks. He emphasizes the word 'again’ purposely. After all, his friend gets in trouble almost every day.

 

Jackson sighs out loud. "Mr. Kim just called me at his office."

 

"What did you do this time?" Jinyoung asks. He doesn’t look at Jackson, instead he keep eating his favorite kimchi fried-rice. Jinyoung knows Jackson tend to be dramatic and overreact when he’s in trouble hence he doesn’t really pay attention to him right now.

 

"He said I'm failing my French class and this time he will not spare me some mercy."

 

"So?"

 

"So that means I'm going to have tutored, Park Jinyoung. Will you stop being such a dick for a moment and comfort me like a good best friend you are?"

 

Jinyoung finally looks at Jackson's sour face. He scowls, clearly not amused by the situation.

 

"Excuse you, Mister-oh-so-called-wild-and-sexy," Jinyoung says in exasperation tone, trying to maintain a straight face. "Jaebum and I have been telling you not to sleep at Mr. Kim's class but of course you just happened to never listen to one of us. It's not our fault that you're failing your French class. Stop being such a baby and do what Mr. Kim says."

 

Jackson turns at Jaebum. "Out of all people in the universe, why do you choose to date this despicable human being, Jaebum?"

 

Jaebum puts down his spoon. He knows Jackson is being childish. Besides him, Jinyoung is already fuming.

 

"Drop the act, Jacks," Jaebum says sternly. His voice is calm but firm. He sounds like his father. "What else did Mr. Kim say to you?"

 

Jackson groans.

 

"He said I'll get tutored by a student named Mark. I don't even know who the fuck—“

 

"Language, Wang," Jinyoung cuts him. Jackson glares at him.

 

"Alright, _mom_ ," he says. "Anyways, I don't know who this Mark guy is but Mr. Kim said that he is one of the best students in his French class. I'll get tutored twice a week. That sounds like a hell to me.”

 

"Wait, Mark as in Mark Tuan?" Jinyoung interrupts.

 

"How can I know him when I haven't met him yet, Park Jinyoung?"

 

Jinyoung lunged forward to pat Jackson’s shoulder, finally showing some sympathy to his friend. "I know Mark. He is great. Don't worry."

 

"Well, at least Mr. Kim didn’t threaten to suspend you from the basketball team." Jaebum adds.

 

"I know,” Jackson exclaims. “But, still! I hate French, Jaebum!“

 

Jaebum shakes his head exasperatedly. "No buts, Jacks. It's not the first time you get tutored so you will be just fine. Stop complaining."

 

"Jinyoungie's right."

 

Jackson rolls his eyes at his friend.

 

"When will he ever anyway?"

 

Jaebum smiles sweetly to his boyfriend. "Never."

 

Jinyoung turns his face to plant a quick peck on his boyfriend's nose. Jaebum looks at him fondly and they smile at each other. Jackson makes a face at them but he doesn’t say anything any further. He plays with his food instead. His appetite is gone the moment Mr. Kim said that he would get tutored. He hates French class. Who loves it anyway? He just can't understand the language. But Jaebum's right. He’d better get tutored instead suspended from basketball team.

* * *

Monday rolls around quickly and before Jackson knows it, he's already in the library, waiting for his new tutor to come. After the last class has ended, Jaebum and Jinyoung encourage him that he will do just fine. Jinyoung reminds him to behave and Jackson tries not to roll his eyes at his friend. It’s not like he will throw a tantrum like a five years kid. At least not in front of a stranger.

Jackson taps his finger on his grammar book, wondering what will happen with his life in a month. He hates to sit still and does something he dislikes but now he must to because he can't afford to get a bad score for the final examination. If that happens, his mother will have his neck and ground him for a week. She did it once and Jackson wished he would never experience that ever again.

Two minutes later Jackson heard footsteps from behind and before he can turn around, a boy appears in front of him. Jackson blinks at the new face—a boy with a bright red hair, the color reminds Jackson of a flame. At that time the sunlight from outside that breaks through the window illuminates the room, and it is a little hazy, and Jackson finds himself entranced by the way the sunlight splays behind the boy’s back that makes him looks like an angel. Jackson gapes at the sight of the boy looking extra ethereal with the beam of the sunlight lighting up his face. Jackson unconsciously holds his breath, feeling his heart skips a beat. At this rate, Jackson is convinced that his mind is playing tricks on him because there is no way the boy in front of him is real. He can’t be, right?

 

Jackson snaps from his reverie when the boy, Mark Tuan, his new tutor clears his throat.

 

"Jackson Wang?" he asks hesitantly. His voice sounds small and timid.

 

Jackson mentally slaps himself. He almost lost his balance because looking at Mark makes his stomach feel funny. Get a grip of yourself, Wang.

 

He gulps. "Yes. That's me."

 

Mark breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm Mark. Mr. Kim told me that I will be your new tutor for the next month. I'm so sorry I'm late."

 

Jackson nods, averting his gaze from _the angel_ —no, it’s Mark.

 

"It's okay."

 

Mark smiles with his eyes and Jackson lets out a sharp breath like someone just punched him in the gut because Mark's smiles is so beautiful it sends butterflies straight to his stomach. His eyes naturally curve into the crescent moon-like shape and Jackson never thinks that someone’s eye smile could be this attractive. Jackson is starting to think that he is going crazy. He only met Mark but the boy managed to give him such a big impact with only his presence.

Mark takes a seat beside him. Suddenly Jackson realizes just how close they are and he’s afraid to look at Mark’s face because he’s _glowing_. How is that even possible?

 

"Shall we start?"

 

Jackson gulps. Mark’s voice sounds so close to his ear but he mentally shakes his head and tries to concentrate.

 

Jackson sighs helplessly. "Do we have to?"

 

Mark chuckles. His voice sounds so soft it makes Jackson’s stomach crunches.  

 

"I know you hate French. But don't worry! It's not as hard as you think! I'll help you."

 

"All right. Let’s do it!” 

 

Mark begins to teach Jackson from the basic. He’s patient and never gets mad when Jackson accidentally curses. Instead, he will simply smile and repeat the lesson over and over again until Jackson can understand the subject. Jackson feels bad for being such a burden for Mark. He’s a slow learner, especially when it comes to language. But the way Mark explains everything to him is completely different from Mr. Kim. His method is easier to understand and Jackson finds himself actually enjoying the lesson.

At the end of the tutoring, Jackson can write down the conjugation of present tense without looking at his textbook.

 

Mark looks satisfied with his result.

 

"That's really good, Jackson!" Mark says happily. A smile blooms on his face and for the nth times that day Jackson thinks that he never saw someone as beautiful as his new tutor.

 

"You're such a fast learner."

 

Honestly, he's not. If Jackson is a fast learner, he wouldn't be with Mark. It's just Mark is a very good tutor and Jackson is so glad he gets tutored by him.

 

Jackson grins. "All thanks to you."

 

Mark smiles shyly. "No, no. You're good. I believe you will get an A on the final exam!"

 

"There's no way I will have a perfect mark judging from how terrible I am at this class."

 

"Don't be so pessimistic." Mark encourages him. He sounds so convincing. Jackson is certain he will believe everything Mark says because the way he talks is simply alluring. "How about this? I will give you anything you want if you can get an A on the final exam."

 

Jackson's eyes widen. "Really? Anything?"

 

Mark nods. "Anything."

 

Jackson is quiet for a moment. He didn't expect Mark to offer something like that. Honestly his goal is not to get a perfect mark in Mr. Kim’s class because he doesn’t care about French. He despises French. But now that he got an offer from Mark, Jackson is not going to let the chance slip away from his hands so easily. Looking at Mark's face, Jackson suddenly gets an idea. He smiles wide, already set a plan in his mind.

 

"Fine," Jackson agrees. "I will get an A in Mr. Kim’s class. I will get it for _you_."

 

Mark blushes slightly, looking down, averting his gaze from Jackson. He looks so unreal and at that time, for the first after Mr. Kim announced his punishment, Jackson didn't mind failing his French class if that means he get to meet Mark Tuan.

* * *

The next day, Jackson eats lunch with Jinyoung and Jaebum again. This time, he smiles so wide it might split his face in two. Jackson seems very happy like he just won a lottery. Jinyoung eyes him suspiciously.

 

"The tutoring thing went well I suppose?"

 

Jackson grins at Jinyoung. "Yeah!"

 

"Jacks, do you have something to tell us?" Jaebum asks. He knows Jackson has something to say. It is not so difficult to tell. He simply can read him because his friend is like an open book.

 

"Why do you never tell me about Mark before?" Jackson asks Jinyoung.

 

Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows. "What?"

 

Jackson puts down his spoon and sighs happily. His face softens at the thought of Mark.

 

"Mark is... great. He is beautiful."

 

Jaebum chokes on his food. Jinyoung turns to his boyfriend and pats him on the back. They look at Jackson as though he is crazy, jaw dropping.

 

"He’s _what_?” Jaebum asks, his eye brows knitted together.

 

"He looks beautiful," repeat Jackson. He smiles at himself and Jinyoung cringes because his friend looks creepy. 

 

Jaebum groans. He buries his face in his hands. "Don't tell me that you like him at first sight."

 

Jackson is silent. He is certain that what he feels towards Mark is not love. It is too early for that. But he is sure that he likes Mark. At least, he finds Mark attractive. Yesterday, after the tutoring session ended, Jackson asked a few questions to Mark in order to get to know him better. At first, Mark seems reluctant to answer his question. He is the type who doesn't talk much. Being a chatterbox he is, Jackson told Mark about himself. He talked a lot until finally, Mark started to answer his questions.

At the end of the day, he knows that Mark is not Korean. He is Chinese and an only child. He moved to Seoul when he was fourteen. Jackson was ecstatic when he knows that the latter is Chinese. He started to speak in rapid Chinese and Mark just stared at him and said nothing. Mark told him that his Chinese is not so good anymore because he rarely uses it. Jackson then speaks more slowly and they started to have a simple conversation in Chinese. Jackson feels like he's home whenever he speaks in Chinese and he is so glad to share the same sentiment with Mark.

 

"Earth to Jackson!"

 

Jaebum snaps his fingers in front of Jackson's face. He blinks a few times and realized that he just dozed off.

 

"What?"

 

"Sseun-ah," Jinyoung calls him with an endearing nickname. This means he's serious and concerned. "You don't go around telling people that you like Mark when you only met him once. You can't just like him!"

 

"What do you mean? Why can't I like him?"

 

Jinyoung bites his lips. Jinyoung is always calm and collected, always know the right thing to do or say. But now he looks unsure and afraid. Jaebum senses his boyfriend's distress and immediately reach out to squeeze Jinyoung's hand gently. Jackson becomes stiff. The traces of playfulness are gone.

 

"Jinyoung, is there something I need to know?"

 

Jinyoung shakes his head. "No, nothing."

 

"Jinyoung-ie," starts Jackson, he sounds frustrated already. "If there's something wrong, please just let me know. I'm not playing around with him, Jinyoung."

 

"What makes you so sure?" Jinyoung asks, he can’t help but make his tone sounds accusing.

 

"I just do, OK?!" exclaims Jackson.

 

“No, you can’t do that. Have you ever heard that we should never fall at first glance?”

 

“I never mentioned about love! It wasn’t ok? I just find him attractive. What is so wrong with that?”

 

Jackson and Jinyoung are practically shouted at each other faces. Jaebum hisses because his friend and his lover are creating a scene and now people are staring at their direction.

 

Jaebum grits his teeth. "Stop. Both of you.”

 

Jinyoung looks away from Jackson, his shoulder becomes stiff. He knows Jackson very well. They’ve known each other since elementary school. He can tell when Jackson is being serious and when he's just playing around like he usually did.

Mark is indeed attractive. A lot of people are attracted by him, Jackson is not an exceptional. Jinyoung can’t blame him. At the other hand, Jinyoung is Mark’s best friend. He's close enough to him to consider himself as Mark's closest friend. Sometimes when Jaebum and Jackson are busy with basketball practice, Jinyoung will go out with Mark. But Jinyoung never bring the topic of Mark when he’s with Jackson because Mark likes to keep their friendship private.

They’ve talked a lot about their personal life and from that, Jinyoung knows about Mark's life. That’s why Jinyoung is instantly alert when Jackson said that he likes Mark. Jinyoung wants to tell Jackson to back down but he knows he can’t. Jackson will never listen to him. But Mark made him promised not to tell anyone about his personal life. Jinyoung is seriously going crazy right now.

 

"Baby, you don't have to tell us everything," Jaebum tries to reassure his boyfriend. He always knows what to say to Jinyoung. "Just tell Jackson what he needs to know at the moment."

 

Jackson did not expect that Jinyoung knows about Mark. Above all, he doesn’t know that those two are close. Judging from Jinyoung’s reaction, Jackson is sure that his friend is keeping something from him. Something related to Mark. But what is it?

 

Jinyoung finally turns to Jackson. His jaw clenched.

 

"Just... just don't hurt him, OK? If you really like him, then prove it. Mark is not like those boys and girls who will swoon over your muscle body or the way you move on the basketball field. He's different from others, Sseun-ah. "

 

Jackson is still confused but he nods.

 

“Okay, I get it.”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head. “No, you’re not. I can’t tell you anything. I’m sorry. I will never betray Mark. When the time comes, you’ll know. But at that time, you can’t back down Jackson. I’ve warned you.”

 

Jackson is dying to know about Mark's life but for now, he can only nod his head to whatever Jinyoung says. His friend is persistent and Jackson is certain he can never force Jinyoung.  

 

"Answer me, Jackson. Promise me you’ll never hurt Mark."

 

"Yes, Jinyoung," Jackson says confidently. "I will never hurt him."

 

Jinyoung still seems uncertain but he nodded to Jackson's answer. He hopes when Jackson knows everything, he will not leave Mark because the latter had enough. Jinyoung wish Mark gets everything he deserves: love, happiness, and someone who will love him unconditionally and never leave him no matter what.

* * *

 


	2. Some Kind of Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long to update chapter two. I hope you guys will enjoy this.

When the bell rings loudly through the whole school, Jackson hurriedly goes to his locker. He has to get home early because his mother asks him to go to the supermarket for grocery shopping. After he gets home, Jackson goes straight to his room to change his uniform to something comfortable.

 

"Gaga, hurry!"

 

His mother yells from the kitchen.

 

"Coming, mom!"

 

When Jackson arrives in the kitchen, his mother is busy stirring something inside the pot. It smells like his favorite soup. Sophia gives Jackson a list of the things he needs to buy. Jackson promises to his mother not to forget everything. His mother smiles and nods at him. Jackson kisses her goodbye and goes to supermarket alone.

After a short ten minutes drive, Jackson arrives at the supermarket. He goes inside and notices that the place is more crowded than usual. Jackson pushes the trolley while checking his list. After the trolley filled with vegetables, fruits, and everything he needs, Jackson goes to find some snacks for himself. When he crouches down to get yogurt, a small hand snatches it from him.

 

"What—“

 

"Bammie, no!"

 

Just then, Jackson heard a familiar voice coming from behind him. Before he turns around, Mark is already in front of him. Jackson’s breath hitched when his eyes lands on Mark—this somehow becomes his automatic reaction whenever he sees Mark. He looks as beautiful as always and Jackson tries not to look like a creep by staring at Mark for far too long. 

 

"Mark?"

 

Mark's eyes widen when he sees Jackson.

 

"Jackson?"

 

Jackson smiles at him. "Hey! I didn't expect to meet you here.”

 

Before Mark can answer Jackson's question, a little boy who snatch Jackson's favorite yogurt tugs at Mark's sleeve.

 

The little boy pouts at him. "Mum, I want this."

 

Jackson's jaw immediately drops when he hears that little boy calls Mark ' _mum'_. Mark missed the way Jackson's eyes grow big because now his attention is on the little boy.

 

"BamBamie,” Mark starts with a very soft voice. “I know you want this yogurt but what you did, snatch it from others without permission, are rude. You can always pick another, baby. There are plenty of these on the shelf."

 

The little boy, BamBam, lower his head. He juts out his lips and looks at his mother with an apologetic face.

 

"I'm sorry." He murmurs quietly.

 

Mark smiles fondly and moves forward to plant a kiss on the little's boy forehead.

 

"It's okay, baby," he reassures him. "Now, would you please apologize to Jackson?"

 

Jackson is watching the scene in front of him silently and when BamBam turns to him, he jumps a little. He looks at BamBam with a confused face but quickly change his expression. BamBam moves forward to stand in front Jackson. He looks so small and cute with a little mole under his left eyes.

 

"I'm sorry, Jackson" he starts with a tiny voice. "Here, your yogurt."

 

BamBam looks so scared and Jackson feels bad for the little boy. Jackson shakes his head at him. He smiles warmly at the boy.

 

"You can keep it. I don't mind.”

 

BamBam lifts his head to look at Jackson. His big eyes remind Jackson of Mark. They are so look alike.

 

"Really? But—I can't receive this."

 

Jackson looks confused. "Why?"

 

"Mum won't let me."

 

As if in cue, Jackson and BamBam look at Mark at the same time. Mark chuckles at them.

 

"Well, if Jackson says you can have it, then you can."

 

BamBam’s eyes grow big. "Really? You're the best! Thank you, mummy!"

 

BamBam throws his tiny arms around Mark's neck and hugs him tightly before runs to another shelf to get another yogurt. Now that the two of them are alone, the reality finally sinks in and Jackson realizes this is probably the reason why Jinyoung doesn’t want to tell him anything about Mark's personal life.

 

Jackson clears his throat. He finds it hard to look at Mark’s face because he’s so confused right now. He mindlessly looks at the shelf in front of him.

 

"Is that... um, your son?"

 

"Yes," Mark answers faintly. He's quiet and doesn’t want to look at Jackson in the eyes either. After he hears Mark’s tone, Jackson gets the message that Mark doesn’t want to talk about it any further.

The awkwardness hangs in the air and for the first time in his life, Jackson doesn't know what to say in this kind of situation. Jackson has a lot of question to ask but he knows better not to say anything at the moment. When BamBam finally comes back with both of his arms full of snacks and yogurts, Jackson turns to Mark and gives him a small smile.

 

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

 

Mark just nods wordlessly. Jackson gets up and pushes his trolley to the cashier. He needs to get home as soon as possible and call Jinyoung. He needs an explanation.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as Jackson arrives at home, he runs to his room and gets his phone to call Jinyoung. He sits on his bed, waiting for Jinyoung to pick up his call. Jackson bites his bottom lips, it’s his habit when he’s nervous or anxious.

 

Finally, Jinyoung picks his call up.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

 _“I met Mark and he’s with a kid named BamBam. He calls him ‘mum’.”_ Jackson says in one breath.  

 

Silent. Jinyoung doesn’t say anything on the other line. Jackson taps his finger on his thigh impatiently.

 

_“Jinyoung, he is seventeen and he has a child—“_

 

 _“I heard,”_ Jinyoung cuts his friend. He sighs. _“So?”_

 

Jackson groans. _“So is this why you don’t want to tell me anything about Mark?”_

 

 _“Sseun-ah,”_ starts Jinyoung, he sounds so afraid. It isn’t like Jinyoung to keep secret from him. They share everything. But now Jackson gets why. “ _If you want to know about Mark, he should be the one to tell you. But don’t ask him anything when you meet him, OK? Don’t push him. He had enough. Besides, you only met him twice. You’re a stranger to him. I’m pretty sure he will get mad if you invade his personal life.”_

 

Jackson sighs. Jinyoung gets a point. But is not like Jackson will immediately ask Mark who is BamBam and who the mother is. Speaking of the mother, does Mark—

 

_“Park Jinyoung, don’t tell me Mark impregnate—“_

 

“ _No!_ ” Jinyoung shouts frantically. Jackson breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s only Mark and BamBam. That’s all I can say for now.”

 

Before Jackson can ask another question, the line goes dead. Jackson curses, feeling more anxious than before. If BamBam doesn’t have a mother, he probably gets adopted, right? But Mark is only seventeen. He’s too young to have a kid. How about their finances? Jackson remembers Mark told him that he’s alone in Seoul. His parents are in California. How could Mark manage to take care of BamBam when he’s busy with school?

There are a lot of questions going on Jackson’s head and he’s getting dizzy the more he thinks about it. Mark is such a mysterious guy, Jackson muses when he’s lying down on his mattress. He closes his eyes and tries not to think about Mark. But it’s difficult. When he closes his eyes, he can only see Mark’s face and his beautiful smile and his beautiful face and how the world seems to shine brighter when there is Mark in it.

But then BamBam’s face shows up on his mind and Jackson gets up abruptly. Mark has a kid. Jackson repeats that on his mind like a mantra. Strangely, it doesn’t bother Jackson at all. In fact, now that he knows about BamBam, it only makes Jackson want to know about Mark even more. He is curious about both of them.

He likes Mark. He will not back down. Not when his feeling for Mark grows even bigger after their encounter at the supermarket. All he can think about is Mark, Mark, and Mark. Just like what he always tells to Jinyoung, Jackson is serious about his feeling for Mark. He will not leave him no matter what happens.

 

* * *

 

 

When Thursday comes, Jackson already finds himself in the library, waiting for Mark to come. Jackson comes five minutes earlier. He can’t concentrate the whole day. He wants to meet Mark. He needs to see him because that’s the only way to make him calm.

When Mark finally shows up, Jackson smiles brightly.  

 

“Hi, Mark.” He greets Mark as soon as the boy takes a seat next to him. Mark looks at Jackson briefly but then he averted his gaze. He ducks his head down and playing with his fingers instead. Jackson’s smile falters.

 

“Mark, is something wrong?”

 

Mark doesn’t say anything for a moment and Jackson begins to worry. Did he do something wrong? Is Mark mad at him? Jackson scoots over a little, carefully and slowly. He doesn’t want to scare Mark.

 

“Mark?” Jackson calls softly. Mark finally tilts his head up to look at Jackson. He looks so scared and his big eyes start to water.

 

“Please, don’t tell anyone about BamBam. I beg you, Jackson. They will kick me out if they know about BamBam. _Please,_ ” Mark chokes on a sob and without thinking it twice, Jackson reaches out to hold Mark's hand tightly.

 

“Mark, it’s okay. It's okay."

 

Jackson hushes him, stroking his hand soothingly. Mark doesn't seem to notice his action because he's busy cries his eyes out. Jackson is so glad he chooses the corner spot of the library. They're behind shelf of books and people can't see them right now.

 

"Mark, listen to me," Jackson says and he squeezes Mark’s hands gently. Mark finally looks up at Jackson. His eyes are red and swollen, hot tears running down his cheeks. Jackson's heart clenches at the sigh and before he could stop himself, Jackson gently wipes the tears from Mark's cheeks with his own hand.

Mark's eyes widen in realization. He finally realizes just how close he is with Jackson. Their face only inches away but when he wants to pull his hands away, Jackson tightens his hold.

 

"I'm not going to tell anyone about BamBam," Jackson reassures him with a sincere smile. "They're not going to kick you out from here. They won't find out about him. I promise. But...”

 

Mark bites his lips anxiously and Jackson can feel his body goes stiff.

 

"B-but?"  

 

Jackson's smile gently. He can’t help but look at Mark adoringly. The tear strains on his red cheeks make him looks even more breathtaking. Jackson doesn’t even realize that at that moment, he lets his feeling to Mark shows so openly. When he looks at Mark, Jackson can feel his heart swells with pure adoration. It’s endearing and sweet how Mark is willing to do anything to protect BamBam. His mother’s instinct makes Jackson falls a little bit more to Mark.

 

“But what, Jackson?” Mark repeats nervously. 

 

"But I want to get to know him better. BamBam, I mean."

 

"What?" Mark blinks at Jackson. He looks genuinely confused right now.

 

Jackson looks down to see the way their hands intertwined and unconsciously play with Mark's fingers. It’s soft. Mark’s hands feels so soft compares to his rough one. Mark can feel Jackson's fingers brushes his knuckle. He blushes furiously because the gesture feels somehow intimate.  

 

"Can I?" Jackson asks hopefully.

 

Mark stares at Jackson silently. This is the first time someone actually wants to meet his baby. Usually, when some guys or girls try to hit him off, they will immediately back down after they know about BamBam. They never really care about his baby and Mark hates that. People are so quick to judge. They judge the way he lives. They judge his baby. Mark is completely okay when people talks badly behind his back but he will not show some mercy when people try to hurt his baby. BamBam is so precious to him. He is everything that he has. Mark loves BamBam so much to the point he will do anything in his power to protect him and keep him safe.

That’s why Mark has stopped to care a long time ago. After he has BamBam, his full attention is solely to his baby. He never pays attention to boys or girls around him. Deep down he knows they’re not sincere. They only interest with his face. Mark wants someone who can accept him and his baby unconditionally. They need to understand that he and his baby come as a package. Whoever it is, if they want to get to know Mark better, then they’d better be nice to his baby.  

Jackson seems genuinely serious and sincere right now and Mark doesn't have the heart to say no. Mark has to admit that he’s taken aback when Jackson voices out his intention to meet BamBam. For BamBam's safety, Mark tells himself. He will let Jackson to meet BamBam. This is something he's never done before. But Jackson promises not to tell anyone about BamBam and Mark trust him enough to believe his words.

 

"Okay," Mark finally says. He smiles faintly. "I... I will let you to meet BamBam. But promise me you will keep this as a secret?"

 

Jackson held his pinky finger. "Promise."

 

Mark lets out a shaky breath and intertwined their pinky fingers. “Okay.”

 

When Jackson grins widely like a kid, Mark strangely feels content and he can’t help not to smile back at him. At that time, when Jackson starts to tell him how cute BamBam is and ask a lot more question about his baby, Mark thinks he has made the right decision because he knows that Jackson is different.

 

* * *

 

After Mark calm enough to starts the tutoring session, he tells Jackson to open his grammar book. Jackson can’t help but groan. Mark chuckles and Jackson pouts at him. Today they learn about articles in French. Mark tries to explain about French definite article to Jackson. He explains when to use _le_ , _la_ , and _les_. Jackson just stares at his book, his head is starting to buzz.

When Mark notices that Jackson doesn’t listen to him, he frowns.

 

“Jackson, do you understand what I said to you?”

 

Jackson blinks. “What?”

 

“You’re not listening!” Mark accuses him.

 

“I did!” Jackson quickly denies. Mark narrows his eyes at him, clearly not believe his words. The way he narrows his eyes reminds Jackson of Jinyoung. Those two could be scary if they want.

 

“If you’re listening to me, then tell me what article definite should we use for ‘ _boulevard’_?”

 

Jackson gulps. He stares back and forth between Mark and the sheet, clearly doesn’t know the answer. He smiles sheepishly.

 

“ _Les_?”

 

Mark looks at him in disbelief. “It’s singular, not plural! _Boulevard_ is a masculine verb. The answer is _‘le’_. I can’t believe you, Wang Jiaer. You promised me you’ll get an A. How could you get an A when you can’t even focus on my lesson?”

 

Mark scolds him and Jackson just pouts at him in defeat again. For a split second, Jackson’s antics reminds Mark of BamBam. His baby always pouts when Mark scolds him or asks him to do something he doesn’t like.

 _He looks cute_ , Mark thinks. But then he mentally slaps himself. What was he thinking? Get a grip of yourself, Mark.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jackson says apologetically. He looks like a kicked puppy and Mark feels bad for scolding him.

 

He sighs. “No, I’m sorry. I should be more patient with you. I’m sorry.”

 

Jackson shakes his head. “No, no! You have the absolute right to scold me. I wasn’t listening to your explanation. I’ll try to focus. I promise!”

 

“I will give you a test after this to measure how far you understand my lesson. If you can get it right, all of it, I’ll take you to meet BamBam right after the lesson ends.”

 

Jackson almost chokes on his breath.

 

“What? Are you serious?”

 

Mark smiles bashfully. “Yes.”

 

“Deal! But, wait. I need to take a look at the formula first and remember it all. Shit, I need to get it all right.”

 

Jackson snatches the book from Mark’s hand and begins to read. Mark tries not to laugh because Jackson looks so cute when he’s trying to focus. He becomes so quiet and his eyebrows knitted together. For the first time since Mark started his tutoring, Jackson looks so focus and concentrate. After fifteen minutes, Mark gives Jackson a question sheet. Jackson tries not to groan when he looks at the questions. Mark gives him thirty minutes to finish it all and Jackson tries his best to answer the question. He has to make sure he answers it all correctly. He doesn’t want to miss a change that Mark has given to him.

When Jackson finally finishes it, Mark examines his work carefully. He stays quiet and Jackson starts to worry because what if he get a wrong answer? But then, Mark looks at him with unreadable expression and Jackson just know that he’s screw up.

 

“I knew it,” Jackson says in an exasperation tone even before Mark can open his mouth. “There’s no way I can answer the questions correctly. I—“

 

“Jackson—“

 

“Tell you what,” Jackson cuts Mark’s sentence. “I’m fine. You don’t have to take me to meet BamBam today. I can always—“

 

“Wang Jiaer, listen to me!”

 

Mark successfully interrupts Jackson's rambling this time. He tries to sniffles a laughter that threatens to spill from his mouth and make a face at Jackson.

 

"Do you want to know your result?" Mark asks in a low tone. He sounds so serious and Jackson only huffs in respond.

 

"No. I know the result already."

 

"Oh, yeah?"

 

"Forget it. I—“

 

"We will meet BamBam after this. Could you please get ready quickly? Bam hates it when I pick him up late.”

 

“Yeah, of course I can— _what?!_ ”

 

Jackson stops his rambling abruptly when he finally realizes that Mark is going to take him to meet BamBam. Jackson stares at Mark. His mouth forms a perfect O shape.  

 

“Does it mean all my answers are correct?”

 

Mark shakes his head, amused with Jackson’s expression, but a smile blooms on his beautiful face.

 

“Yes. Guess you just need a motivation to focus.”

 

Jackson shouts and jumps in his seat. People around them shush him for being too loud and throw him an annoying glance but Jackson doesn’t care. He still can’t believe that he can answer the questions correctly. But right now, Jackson is excited to meet BamBam. He can't wait to meet the kid again and get to know more about Mark and him.

Jackson tries to shove everything on his bag quickly but all of his belonging is so messy, it ends up spill out of his bag and falls to the floor. He curses loudly and crouches down to pick it. But then, he hears Mark’s laughter for the first time and Jackson froze on his spot. When Jackson looks up, Mark is laughing. _He laughs_. And if it isn’t the cutest thing Jackson has even seen, he doesn’t know what it is. When Mark laughs so freely like that, Jackson can see his sharp canine teeth and it looks so attractive. His body shakes slightly and his soft red hair sways in the most beautiful way. Mark’s laughter simply takes Jackson’s breath away and his heart clenches in a very, very good way. Mark looks so ethereal and Jackson wonders when he will get used to it.

Mark coughs to get Jackson’s attention. Jackson blinks and doesn’t realize that he has been staring at Mark with that awestruck face. When Jackson sees a faint blush on Mark’s cheeks, he smiles sheepishly. He gets up and slings his backpack on his shoulder.

 

He clears his throat. “Shall we?”

 

Mark nods and gathers his things quickly. When they steps out of the library, Jackson walks on Mark’s left side as to protect him. Mark realizes the gesture and at that time, when Jackson looks down at him, Mark’s heart begins to thud against his ribs.

 

For the first time after a long time, Mark can feel his heart beats a little bit faster.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos, comments, and hits. Everything. I'm happy if you guys like it. You can always find me on twitter @baby2steph. Thank you :)


	3. Simply Irresistible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my sister who always helping me beta reading this. I hope you guys will enjoy it ♡

Jackson can’t stop fidgeting when he finally stands in front of a kindergarten—it’s called Happiness Kindergarten—,waiting for Mark to come out with BamBam. He has told Jackson to wait there. It’s not even a minute after Mark goes inside to pick BamBam but Jackson already feels like it takes forever to wait for them. He can’t believe just how nervous he is right now. Jackson never feels nervous when he meets someone in his life. He thinks it’s definitely because BamBam, Mark’s baby. Jackson likes Mark and he wants to make a good impression when he finally meets BamBam again.

When Mark finally comes back with BamBam in his arms, Jackson sighs in relief. He waves his hand and smiles brightly.

 

“I’m sorry we take too long.”

 

Jackson shakes his head. “No, it’s fine.”

 

Jackson turns to BamBam who is staring at him with his big curious eyes. Jackson bends his head forward BamBam so their eyes are on the same level. He smiles warmly.

 

“Hi, BamBam,” he said cheerfully. “Do you remember me?”

 

“Are you Jackson?”

 

Jackson’s eyes widen. “Yes, that’s me! You remember my name?”

 

“Mum always talks about you! He said you’re funny and handsome!”

 

“He did?”

 

Jackson glances at Mark but Mark is quick to turn his gaze away from him. He can see a blush decorates his cheeks and that makes Jackson smile widely. He turns his attention to BamBam again. 

 

“Your mum told me I can come home with you guys today. Is it okay if I come, Bam?”

 

BamBam nods enthusiastically. “Of course! We can play together!”

 

“No, baby,” Mark’s voice is soft but stern. “After we get home, you should eat and do your homework.”

 

BamBam whines.

 

“But I want to play with Jackson!”

 

“You can play with him after you finish your homework.”

 

“Your mum is right,” Jackson adds. “You have to finish your homework first. After that, I promise I will play with you for as long as you want.”

 

“Really? Will you stay the night?”

 

Jackson shakes his head sadly. “I can’t. I have to go back before dinner or my mother will have my neck.”

 

BamBam suddenly giggles. He leans his head forward to Jackson. “Is your mother always nagging like my mum?”

 

Mark gasped. “BamBam!” 

 

BamBam and Jackson laugh together while Mark unconsciously pouts his lip. He can’t believe this. Jackson just met BamBam but they’re already on the same side.

 

“Is your apartment close by?”

 

“Yes. It’s a ten minute’s walks from here.”

 

“All right, then,” Jackson says. Jackson suddenly opens his arms. “Bam, do you want me to carry you? I think your Mum is tired.”

 

Before BamBam can answer, Mark beats him first. “Jackson, I’m fine.”

 

“I know, Mark.” Jackson says softly. “I just don’t want you to get tired. Besides, I really really really want to carry him.”

 

Mark sighs in defeat, knowing that the only way to stop Jackson is to say yes. So, he does. BamBam wriggles on his arms when Jackson’s hands reach out for him. The little boy immediately attaches to Jackson. They are chatting enthusiastically as the three of them walk side by side to Mark’s apartment. They talk about everything; schools, games, snacks, yogurts, etc. Mark only watches in amazement. BamBam is usually shy around strangers. He will become quiet and only talks to answer questions. His baby is chatty only when he’s with Yugyeom, his best friend from kindergarten. Mark doesn’t know how Jackson manages to getting close with BamBam quickly, easily, and almost instantly. They hit it off right away, something that never happen before.

They finally arrive at Mark’s apartment building in no time. The lift is broken so they don’t have a choice but to climb the stairs to 3rd floor. Jackson refuses to let go of BamBam and Mark can’t even bring himself to get mad. When they finally stand in front of Mark’s door with number 93 engraves in it, Mark glances at Jackson briefly before pushing the door open.

 

“Welcome to our small heaven,” Mark says, chuckling to himself.  

 

Once they are inside, Jackson finally lets go of BamBam. He looks at his surroundings. Mark’s apartment is actually small but clean and neat. It’s spacious enough because there isn’t any furniture. But it’s nice. The place gives the feeling of home; warm, pleasant, and comfortable.

 

“It’s nice,” he comments. “I like that picture by the way.”

 

Jackson points his finger to one of the pictures that hanging on the wall. Mark turns to look at it and chuckles. It is a picture of him and BamBam on Yugyeom’s birthday party last year. BamBam sits on Mark’s lap and both of them are smiling widely to the camera. What makes it funny is that their faces are full of whip cream. But they look happy.

 

“I like that too,” Mark says as he walks to the kitchen. “Jackson, could you please help BamBam with his homework? I’m going to cook us something.”

 

“Of course!” Jackson turns to BamBam. “Bam, lead the way, please?”

 

“This way!” BamBam says excitedly. He grabs Jackson’s hand and drags him to his room. Mark chuckles, still amazes with how fast they can get close like that.

 

It only takes fifteen minutes to cook. Mark doesn’t cook much because he hasn’t got to do grocery shopping this week and there’s nothing much on his refrigerator. He ends up making kimchi fried rice and reheats the dumplings that he bought last night.

After Mark has finished preparing the food on the dining table, he approaches his room where Jackson and BamBam are inside. Judging from the loudness coming from there, Mark is certain these two aren’t study. As he walks closer, Mark can hear BamBam and Jackson’s high pitched laughter. The door of his room is slightly open and Mark stands there, peeking. A swift tide of emotion surges through him as he watches Jackson and BamBam having a pillow fight on bed. BamBam attacks Jackson mercilessly while Jackson lay helplessly on bed, laughing as he shielding his face in attempt to protect himself from BamBam. Just for a moment Mark stands there motionless, looking at them and adoring them.

BamBam looks happy, Mark thinks to himself. This is the first time BamBam can laugh so happily with someone he never met before. Well, technically they met before but they were barely talking. But it’s not like Mark is complaining. He’s glad Jackson can get along with BamBam quickly.

Mark lets out a loud and artificial cough to get their attention. Jackson and BamBam’s pillow fight comes in a halt. Mark bites his lips, trying to restrain his laughter because they look like a dear caught in the highlight.

 

“M-mum,” BamBam stutters. He throws his pillow on the floor and jumps on Jackson’s lap. They look at Mark sheepishly.

 

“Wang Jackson, Tuan BamBam,” Mark starts flatly. He crosses his arms on his chest, looking at them with narrowed eyes. “So you guys aren’t studying, hm?”

 

Jackson gulps as he hugs BamBam close to his chest.

 

“It’s not what it’s looks like, I swear!” Jackson exclaims. “We’re just taking a break, right, Bam?”

 

“Right!” Bam nods frantically. “Mum, don’t punish us, _please_?”

 

Mark is trying to maintain a straight face but it’s impossible for him to hold back his laughter. Not when they look at him with a kicked puppy eyes, begging for mercy. Mark finally lets out a loud laugh before launches himself on bed. He grabs a pillow and starts to attack both Jackson and BamBam. The pillow fight begins once more. This time, the three of them running around a small room, making a mess everywhere with a content heart and a wide contagious laughter.

 

* * *

 

Mark’s phone rings loudly when the three of them are eating in the dining table. He excuses himself to the kitchen to answer the phone call while Jackson takes the turn to feed BamBam. When Mark doesn’t come back after five minutes, Jackson is starting to get worried.

 

“Bam, is it okay if you wait here for a moment? I need to talk to your mum.”

 

Bam nods obediently. “Okay. I can eat by myself!”

 

Jackson chuckles. He strokes BamBam’s head gently before he gets up from his seat. He finds Mark still on the kitchen, talking to someone in a rapid tone. Jackson knows something is wrong because Mark bites his fingernail, a gesture that shows that he’s anxious and nervous.

 

Jackson walks toward Mark. “Hey, is something wrong?”

 

Mark almost drops his phone when he hears Jackson’s deep voice from behind and Jackson instantly feels bad for scaring him like that.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just want to check on you. Is something wrong?” he repeats his question.

 

Mark sighs. “I need to go to café right now. My friend wants me to take his shift because his mother is sick. But I can’t, Jackson.”

 

Jackson looks confused. “Why?”

 

“I’m not supposed to work today. Besides, who will take care of Bam? Usually when I’m working I will drop BamBam at Yugyeom’s house. But Yugyeom’s mom called me this morning and said that she will go to Namyangju for three days. I just can’t leave BamBam alone.”

 

Mark looks like he’s on the verge of crying so Jackson takes his hands cautiously and gives them a firm squeeze.

 

“Mark, you have me.” He says reassuringly. “I can take care of BamBam.”

 

“What?”

 

“I can stay here until you come back from work.”

 

Mark shakes his head. “No! No, you can’t.”

 

“Yes, I can.” Jackson insists.

 

“Jackson—“

 

“Mark, listen to me.” Jackson interrupts. He brings Mark’s hands to his chest. He looks straight into Mark’s eyes. “I don’t mind, ok? In fact, I will be very happy if you let me stay here. I mean, you can’t bring Bam to work and I have plenty of free time. _Please_?”

 

Mark sighs in defeat. He can’t possibly say no to that face. Jackson can easily persuade him. Before he can give him an answer, BamBam appears.

 

“Mum, please let Jackson stay here. I want to play with him!” he says excitedly.

 

Jackson releases Mark’s hand as he moves to kneel down in front of BamBam.

 

“Tell your mum to let me stay here. I promise we will play whatever you want.” Jackson whispers in BamBam’s ear but it’s impossible for Mark not to hear it because they stand so close to each other. Mark wants to laugh when BamBam runs to his legs and looks at him with pleading eyes.

 

“Mum, _please_? _Please_?”

 

Mark can’t help but chuckles. “Okay, okay. I will let Jackson stay.”

 

BamBam jumps in delight and Jackson immediately hoists BamBam up to his arms. They look so happy. That day before Mark leaves for work, his heart feels so warm when Jackson and BamBam standing next to each other in the doorway, waving happily to him.

 

* * *

 

Jackson plays with BamBam all day. BamBam can’t stop laughing because Jackson is so funny. When it is time for BamBam to takes a bath, he runs when Jackson tries to take off his clothes. Jackson has to chasing him and then drags him to the bathroom. Once BamBam is in the bath and settled, he splashes some water to Jackson and it successfully makes Jackson’s clothes wet.

 

“BamBam!” Jackson shrieks, looking at his now damp clothes. BamBam giggles innocently. Jackson starts to attack BamBam back as revenge and both of them are laughing while playing with water.

 

Mark will definitely kill them if he knows Jackson lets BamBam playing with water more than fifteen minutes. Before he goes to work, Mark repeatedly reminds Jackson not to let BamBam takes a bath for too long because he may catch a cold. But Jackson is so weak his pleading eyes, silently begging him to do whatever he wants. Besides, he thinks that as long as this can make BamBam happy, then Jackson will gladly let him do anything. But when he realizes that BamBam’s hands is starting to wrinkle, Jackson immediately pulls him out of bath up and wraps his body with a thick towel.

When dinner time arrives, Jackson orders them two boxes of pizzas. BamBam jumps in happiness and kisses both Jackson’s cheeks to thank him. They agree to keep this as a secret from Mark. His mother hates it when BamBam eats too much junk food even though he knows that BamBam loves it. He always makes sure to keep stuffing BamBam with healthy food. Now that Mark isn’t home, BamBam feels free to do anything and he is happy that Jackson is on his side.

After they finish eating, it’s BamBam’s bed time already. Jackson makes sure BamBam drinks his milk before leading him to the bathroom. They’re standing next to each other in front of the mirror, brushing their teeth together. After that, Jackson carries BamBam to the couch and lies on his back with BamBam on his chest.

 

BamBam yawns. “Jacks, I want bed time story.”

 

Jackson rubs BamBam’s back gently.

 

“What kind of stories you want to listen?”

 

“Anything. Mum is amazing. He always tells me different stories every night.”

 

Jackson unconsciously smiles just by thinking of Mark. He is indeed such an amazing person Jackson ever knows.

 

“How about a story about Three Little Pigs?” he suggests.

 

BamBam looks up at Jackson with curious eyes. “Mum never told me about that before.”

 

“Well, then. Are you ready for your bed time story?”

 

BamBam nods eagerly. He lay his head on Jackson’s chest, snuggling. Jackson’s body is strong and BamBam likes it. He closes his eyes as Jackson starts his story. His deep voice lulls BamBam to sleep easily. Exhausted and tired more than he realizes, BamBam quickly falls asleep in Jackson’s arms, feeling so safe and happy.

Jackson looks down at BamBam and smiles. He plants a soft kiss on his forehead.

 

“Good night, Bam.” He whispers.

 

* * *

 

When Mark finally gets home, the house is quiet. The lights are off and Mark is certain that both Jackson and BamBam are sound asleep. From the doorway, he can hear their breathing: it is deep and loud enough to be heard in the silent night. The streetlight from the outside breaks through the windows and illuminates the room. Mark stops in the middle of living room, unconsciously holding his breath when he sees something that makes his heart swells with love and adoration.

There, in his small and slightly worn out couch, Jackson lies on his back with BamBam on his broad chest. His strong arms wraps around BamBam small figure, protecting him. BamBam have both of his arms wound tightly around Jackson’s neck, looking so content and Mark can see the corner of his lips curves upwards, smiling slightly in his sleep.

Mark feels something twitch inside, something deep and new, something that makes him dizzy for a second. He can’t stop staring at the way BamBam’s body fits perfectly in Jackson’s arms, it’s like he belongs there. His heart skips a beat when BamBam unconsciously whimpers in his sleep, automatically snuggling closer to Jackson’s neck. Mark can feel his heart thuds audibly against his ribs as he approaches them. He crouches down in front of them, staring at them silently. His hands suddenly feel itching. He wants to brush Jackson’s thick eyebrows, running his fingers through his jet black hair.

When Mark decided to take BamBam with him many years ago, he never expected someone else would come into the picture. He was so ready to spend the rest of his life only with BamBam. He never considers the possibilities to fall in love with someone because his world only revolves around BamBam. He is so busy taking care of his baby. He doesn’t really have time to think about himself—his own happiness and his own needs. All he cares about is BamBam.

But then, Jackson comes along.

He barges into his life unexpectedly and unannounced. From the very first day after they met, Mark can feel something stirs inside him whenever Jackson looks at him a little bit longer. It’s not like Mark is oblivious with Jackson’s feeling. He knows that Jackson likes him. He can feel it; the way Jackson looks at him with open adoration and admiration, also the way he holds his hands in the library, Mark knows. It’s just that Mark never considers that he himself could fall in love with someone—with him. He’s not ready, he convinces himself over and over again. Mark keeps lying to himself when deep down he knows that he feels something towards Jackson. But, isn’t it too fast to assume everything?

Mark is so deep in his thoughts and he doesn’t realize that Jackson is wide awake. He jumps a little when Jackson’s deep voice breaks his reverie.

 

“Mark, you’re home.” He whispers, his voice sounds raspy from sleep.

 

Mark blinks his eyes. He stares at Jackson for a moment before he smiles lightly at him.

 

“Yeah, I just got home.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

Mark glances at his wrist-watch. “It’s half past ten.”

 

Jackson yawns. “You go take a bath. I’ll take BamBam to his room. After that, I will make you a dinner.”

 

“No, Jackson—“

 

But Jackson already gets up from the couch and carefully adjusts BamBam’s position in his arms. He walks to the bedroom with Mark trailing behind him, watching how BamBam’s head rests comfortably on Jackson’s shoulder.

Jackson opens the door with one of his hands while the other still hold BamBam cautiously. Mark still doesn’t say anything as Jackson places BamBam on the bed. He stoles Mark’s role naturally and strangely Mark can’t bring himself to mad at him, not when his heart beats so fast it hurts. The picture of Jackson sleeps with BamBam stuck on his head and for the first time in his life Mark is longing for something.

 

“Mark?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Don’t you want to kiss him goodnight?”

 

Mark swallows loudly. “Yes.”

 

Mark walks closer to his baby. He caresses BamBam’s cheeks softly before planting kisses on his face; his cheeks, his forehead, his cute small nose, and his lips. Jackson chuckles lightly behind him.

 

Mark turns to him. “What’s so funny?”

 

“No, nothing. It’s adorable. Both of you are adorable.”

 

Mark can feel a blush color his face and he’s glad that Jackson can’t see it due the darkness of the room. But then, he walks closer and stops beside Mark. Jackson leans down and without asking for permission, he presses his lips on BamBam’s forehead gently.

 

“Sleep tight, baby.” Jackson whispers in a fatherly tone and Mark can hear his heart beats so loud and he’s afraid it will burst. For some reasons his eyes starts to water and suddenly he feels so emotional. Mark has to grip his own hands to prevent himself from crying.

 

By the time Jackson straightens his body and leads him out of the room, Mark has fallen in love with Jackson.

* * *

 


	4. The Sweetest Thing

Mark lets Jackson pushes him gently to the bathroom, saying that he will make a dinner for him real quick. Mark can only sigh and obeys him. He takes a bath for ten minutes, letting the warm water washes his tiredness away. When he comes to the kitchen, Jackson is putting dishes on the table. He lifts his head when he sees Mark and smiles.

 

“Mark, come here.”

 

Jackson walks toward Mark who is still standing three feet away from him, unmoving. He grabs his wrist and gently pushes him to sit on the chair.

 

Mark stares at his plate. There is a lump in his throat and he can feel a sting in the corner of his eyes. “You made this?” he whispers.

 

Jackson bites his lips and smiles sheepishly. “Yes. I’m not so sure about the taste though.”

 

Mark nods wordlessly. He takes his spoon, stuffing his kimchi fried rice into his mouth ever so slowly. Mark’s eyes start to water as he chewing his food. His heart feels like it will burst at any moment. When is the last time someone makes food for him? Mark is so used to take care of himself that he forgets how it feels like to be taken care of. His heart feels warm and he almost cries because the food tastes like home.

 

“How was work?” Jackson asks after a moment of silent. “Is it tiring?”

 

Mark lifts his head and stares at Jackson. He looks at him without saying anything. He swallows hard. Mark just can’t utter a single word to reply him. Why Jackson is so caring to him? Why his heart can’t stop beating a little bit faster when he looks at him? Why his presence can make Mark feels safe and comfortable? Why Mark has to fallen in love with him quickly and almost instantly?

 

“BamBam is actually my late friend’s child.” Mark suddenly says, staring straight at him. Jackson’s eyes widen, obviously doesn’t expect Mark to say something like that out of the blue.

 

Jackson straightens his body. “Mark, you don’t have to tell me.”

 

Mark shakes his head. He doesn’t know what has gotten into him but he just felt the urge to tell Jackson. After what he did to Mark and BamBam, he deserves to know everything.

 

“Are you sure?” Jackson asks hesitantly.

 

Mark swallows hard. “Yes.”

 

Jackson cautiously takes one of Mark’s hands as a support. He looks at Mark hesitantly. “Is it okay?”

 

“Yes,” he whispers.

 

“Okay.”

 

Mark takes a deep breath and finally tells him everything.

Back then when Mark is still in California, he has a friend named Sharon. They are at the same age. They have a very good relationship. But one day when Sharon turns 14, she gets pregnant. Her parents are furious when they find out about it. They are disappointed and angry. Mark knows Sharon’s parents have high expectations for her. Sharon is smart. She has a lot of talents. Her parents are always so proud of her. But when they know about Sharon’s pregnancy, they can’t take the news well.

They want Sharon to continue her school but it is impossible with her current condition. Sharon’s boyfriend breaks up with her after he knows that his friend is pregnant. Mark hates her irresponsible boyfriend. He ends up taking care of Sharon during her pregnancy because her parents don’t even want to talk to Sharon. Mark is always being there for her. It is him who runs to the supermarket when Sharon wants to eat chocolate at 3 in the morning. It is him who takes Sharon to the hospital. It is also him who holds her hands during her labour. Mark is there when BamBam is born.

The day when BamBam comes to his life is the last day Mark sees his friend. After she gives birth to BamBam, her condition becomes so weak. She has severe internal bleeding and she can’t breathe properly. She only holds BamBam once and then she is gone. Mark is also there when his friend dies.

Mark still remembers vividly when Sharon’s tremble hand reaches out for his. Right after the doctor takes BamBam from her arms, his friend says something he will never forget.

 

“Mark,” she calls, her voice breaks. Sharon’s eyes are filled with tears. “Please take care of him. He is yours from now on. You’ll love him, right? You’ll take care of him, right?”

 

Mark shakes his head, hot tears running down his cheeks. “No. Don’t say that. We will raise him together.”

 

“It hurts. I can’t,” his friend whimpers. He grips Mark’s hand tightly. “Promise me you will take care of him. Please? For me?”

 

Mark doesn’t say anything to answer her. Instead, he tries to act like nothing happen.

 

“Have you decided his name? You haven’t told me about it.”

 

Sharon smiles sadly. “He is yours, Mark. I want you to name him.”

 

“Sharon, _don’t_.” Mark’s voice trembles. He chokes on a loud sob. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave him. _Please_.”

 

She sobs. “Mark, I love you so much. You’re my best friend. Thank you for everything.”

 

She kisses Mark’s hand gently and that is the last moment Mark has with her. Sharon’s parents are devastated when she dies. They blame BamBam for what happened to Sharon and Mark knows he can’t let BamBam live with them. He decides to move in to Seoul right before he starts high school. He brings BamBam with him and begins his new life there.

Mark’s parents can’t accept his decision at first. They think Mark is way too young to become a parent—single parent. They ask Mark to come back home with BamBam but he refuses to do so. Mark had promised Sharon that he will be the one who takes care of him. In the end, his parents give up and let him do whatever he wants.

It is hard at first. Mark doesn’t have anyone here. He has to balance his school and work but at the same time he still has to take care of BamBam. There is no one he can lean on. Mark learns how to do everything by himself. When BamBam comes to his life, he becomes even more independent. He earns money by working part time. His parents don’t have to pay for his school’s tuition because Mark received a scholarship for his high school. But they always send some money every month. His parents haven’t fully accepted BamBam yet but Mark doesn’t really care about it.

He has been through a lot but at the end of the day he still can endure hard times because he has BamBam with him. Mark believes that everything will be all right as long as he has BamBam.

 

“I love him so much, Jackson,” Mark can’t contain the loud sob that breaks in his voice. It pains him to remember Sharon. Tears overflow from his eyes without warning, gushing down his face. “I love him so much. I—”

 

Mark can’t finish his sentence and Jackson immediately pulls Mark to him, hugging him tightly in his chest.

 

“It’s okay,” he whispers in his ear. “I’m here, Mark. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you or BamBam. Everything is going to be all right.”

 

Mark clutches his arms around Jackson’s neck, sobbing quietly. Jackson strokes his head gently.

 

“They said that I was stupid,” Mark sobs. “They said that I was too young and not ready to take a big responsibility like that. But I didn’t regret my decision. BamBam is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I can’t live without him, Jackson.”

 

Jackson loosens his hug but doesn’t let go of Mark. He looks at Mark with a tender gaze.

 

“Mark, you are amazing,” he tells him sincerely. “You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. And you did a very great job with BamBam.”

 

Mark smiles hesitantly. “You think so?”

 

Without thinking twice, Jackson takes Mark’s face between his hands. His black eyes stare at Mark tenderly.

 

“Mark,” he says softly, his unwavering gaze makes Mark’s body shivers slightly. Mark unconsciously holds his breath. “You are amazing. And you deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart. Someone who thinks about you constantly and someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing and if you’re okay. You deserve someone who can protect you from your fears. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You deserve to be with someone who can make you happy, really happy. Someone who simply isn’t afraid to be with you and loves you unconditionally.”

 

Mark’s heart stops for a moment. His mind goes blank.

 

“Jackson…” Mark trails off, can’t find the right words to say.

Jackson’s hand caresses his cheeks and wipes his tears gently. Mark swallows loudly. Tears start to well up at his eyes again. Jackson holds him close but still says nothing, all the while telling him silently that he is important. When Jackson’s fingers smooth the worried lines on Mark’s forehead, his heart flutters.

Mark doesn’t know how long they stay like that. He can’t really think right now. There are so many things going on his mind. He thinks about how his life before Jackson. His life has always been hard and unpredictable. He doesn’t have a normal life like people around his age. Sometimes Mark asks himself. Is he happy? Before this, Mark will quickly say that he is happy. He has BamBam and there isn’t any reason to be unhappy. But Jackson is not there before. He hasn’t come to Mark’s life before. Now that Jackson is here, silently comforting him, Mark isn’t so sure anymore.

Is he really happy before?

 

“Hey, what are you thinking?”

 

Mark chuckles when Jackson playfully pokes his nose. But, before he can answer his question, Mark yawns widely right in front of Jackson’s face. Jackson laughs loudly, his body shaking.

 

Mark quickly covers his mouth with his hands. His eyes widen comically. “I’m sorry!” he shrieks.

 

Jackson chuckles. He pats both Mark’s cheeks softly before releases him. He stands up and holds out his hand to Mark.

 

Mark blinks at him. “What?”

 

“You need to take a rest, silly.”

 

Mark blushes. “O-okay.”

 

Mark takes Jackson’s hand shyly. Jackson leads him to the bedroom where BamBam sleeps soundly there. Mark carefully climbs in bed, lying next to his baby. He pulls BamBam’s body to his chest, hugging him tightly. Jackson covers both of their body with a blanket.

 

“Thank you for today, Jackson.” Mark says in a whisper. “I really appreciate it.”

 

Jackson smiles. “You’re very welcome. Now, go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

Mark smiles back. “Okay.”

 

That night, Mark dreams about Jackson and his wide contagious laughter that never fails to warm his heart.

 

* * *

 

Jackson starts to spend more and more time with Mark and BamBam. He comes to Mark’s place almost every day. BamBam likes Jackson a little bit too much to the point he will purposely annoy his mother by clinging to Jackson like a koala all the time. His mother will pout, feeling neglected by his baby. But then Jackson and BamBam will run to him and squeeze him between their bodies to make Mark feels better.

Mark still tutors Jackson but they no longer meet at library. Instead, Mark takes Jackson to his place. Jackson is doing well with his French skills. He has improved a lot and Mark always praises him. Jackson is trying his best because he needs to get an A in Mr. Kim’s class. He already has a plan and he tries so hard not to ruin it.

Time passes by in a blur and when the last exam finally comes, Jackson arrives at school fifteen minutes earlier. He stands nervously in front of his class, waiting for Mark to come. Mark has promised him that he will meet Jackson before the class starts. He wants to cheer Jackson up.

 

“Jackson!”

 

Jackson turns his head so fast when he hears Mark’s voice coming from behind him. When he sees Mark running to him with a big smile on his face, he can’t help but feel calm.

 

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

 

Jackson shakes his head and smiles. “No, you’re not. Don’t worry.”

 

Mark looks at Jackson somehow shyly and he seems hesitant.

 

“BamBam has a massage for you.”

 

Before Jackson can say something, Mark takes two big steps and stands right in front of Jackson, so close Jackson has to hold his breath. His eyes widen when Mark cautiously takes his face between his hands.

 

“You will do well, Jackson.” He says softly and almost immediately withdraws both of his hands from Jackson’s face. Jackson blinks, his face burning hot. He looks at Mark with a slightly opened mouth, bewildered.

 

Mark flushes, but so does Jackson. They’re still standing in a hallway, just looking at each other. Jackson blinks his eyes and when the realization finally hits him, he smiles so wide it hurts.

 

“Thanks… Mark. That’s sweet, really.”

 

“It’s BamBam! Not me!” he exclaims frantically. Jackson chuckles lightly, enjoying Mark’s flush face.

 

When the bell rings loudly, Jackson steps closer to Mark with a smile on his face. He stares straight to his eyes.

 

“I will get an A as I promised you weeks ago. Just wait and see.” He says confidently.

 

Jackson enters his class, leaving Mark who is still standing in the hallway. When Jackson is out of his sight, Mark hopes he will do well.

 

* * *

 

 

Two days later when Mark just finished making dinner for him and BamBam, there is a loud knock outside and he wonders who visit him at this hour—he rarely have a visitor.

 

“Coming!” Mark calls out as he turns off the stove. BamBam is still in his room so he walks straight to the door and opens it.

 

“Will you go out with me?” the guy blurts out and Mark’s head shoots up. He takes in the guy that stands before him, looking out of breath with dark hair that is slightly damp with sweats. His eyes is looking straight at Mark and it sparkles with hope and confident.

 

Mark opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He just looks at him, dumbfounded.

 

“Jackson— _what_ —“

 

“You promised me that you will give me anything I want if I get an A in Mr. Kim class, remember?”

 

“Yes, but—“

 

“Here.”

 

Jackson takes something from his pocket and shoves it in Mark’s hand. Mark takes it confusedly. But then he laughs when he sees big A colored in red on top of it—Jackson’s perfect score. Mark looks up and he can’t hide his big smile on his face.

 

“You made it! Congratulations, Jackson!” he says cheerfully, completely forget what Jackson just said to him because he is too happy with his result. Mark feels so proud of him.

 

But Jackson’s heart is pounding violently against his ribs and he just can’t calm down. He steps forward and takes Mark’s hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze. Mark’s body freezes almost instantly.  

 

“Mark,” he says nervously. “Will you go out with me?”

 

Jackson repeats the same question and says nothing else. When Mark stares at his dark eyes, he knows the answer already. Jackson doesn’t have to explain to him about his feelings. He shows it. He always does. And from the very beginning, Mark can feel it.

Jackson tightens his hold, begging him for an answer. It doesn’t take long for Mark to reply him.

 

“Yes,” he says in a whisper.

 

Jackson pulls him to his chest and hugs him tightly. Suddenly, as the magical silent embraces them, Mark feels right to be in Jackson’s arms.  

* * *

 


	5. Lucky In Love

Mark invites Jackson to eat dinner with him and BamBam. Jackson, of course, says yes in a heartbeat. When BamBam sees Jackson enters the kitchen, he runs to him and latches himself on Jackson’s legs. Jackson laughs as he lifts BamBam up to his arms.

 

“Jackson!”

 

“Hey, Bam,” he says cheerfully and naturally plants a quick kiss on his forehead.

 

“I didn’t know that you will come here tonight!” BamBam exclaims. “Mum didn’t say anything.”

 

“That’s because I wasn’t planning to come here but something came up, so yeah.”

 

Jackson shrugs his shoulder as he glances to Mark who is busy putting the dishes on the table. He must be feeling Jackson’s eyes on him because almost immediately he lifts his head up and his gaze meets Jackson’s. Jackson gives him a small smile and Mark ducks his head shyly. Even from where he is standing, Jackson can clearly see a blush decorates his face. And it’s cute. Everything Mark does it cute to Jackson.

When Mark announces that dinner is ready, Jackson sits with BamBam in his lap. Mark frowns.

 

“BamBam, sit on your own chair.” He says sternly. Bambam shakes his head as he clings to Jackson’s neck.

 

“No!” he whines. “I want to sit with Jackson!”

 

“Mark, it’s okay,” Jackson says as he adjusts BamBam’s position in his lap. “I don’t mind.”

 

Mark turns to Jackson and narrows his eyes at him.

 

“You spoil him too much, Jackson. It’s not good to always say yes to him.”

 

Jackson gasps and places his hand over his heart exaggeratedly. Mark tries not to roll his eyes.  

 

“How could you accuse me like that, Mark? I’m just trying to show BamBam that I care so much about him.”

 

“But it’s getting out of control!”

 

“It’s not!”

 

Before Mark can say something to reply Jackson, BamBam starts to cry. They look at each other and freeze. Mark is fast to get up from his seat. He takes BamBam from Jackson’s arms and hugs him close to his chest. Jackson feels guilty when he sees BamBam hides his face in between Mark’s neck, sobbing.

 

“Oh, baby,” Mark says guiltily. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to scare you like this.”

 

“I’m sorry, Bam,” Jackson adds as he moves to stand behind Mark’s back. He ruffles BamBam’s hair gently. “Don’t cry, baby. We’re sorry.”

 

Mark rocks his baby in his arms. BamBam clutches his arms around Mark’s neck.

 

“Don’t—fight—“ he hiccups, trying to talk between his tears.

 

“Bam, look at me, please?” Jackson pleads softly. BamBam lifts his head up and looks at him with tears running down his cheeks. Jackson’s heart clenches when he sees it.

 

“We didn’t fight, baby,” Jackson says gently as he wipes his tears. “We’re just kidding. Right, Mark?”

 

Mark nods. “Jackson is right. Please don’t cry, baby.”

 

“Re-really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

BamBam looks at his mother somewhat hesitantly.

 

“So, can I sit with Jackson again?” he asks in a low voice, afraid that his mother will get mad at him. Mark wants to laugh and cry at the same time. His baby is so innocent.

 

“Yes, you can.” He answers with a smile. “Right, Jackson?”

 

Jackson chuckles. He bends his head forward to give a small kiss on BamBam’s cute button nose. BamBam giggles and reaches out his hands to Jackson who gladly takes it.

When Jackson sits with BamBam in his lap again, he starts to feed BamBam. But Mark knows that his baby can be mischievous sometimes. BamBam will purposely close his mouth, refuses to eat by shaking his head and moving too much on his seat. Mark finds himself sitting there silently, watching Jackson tries to coax BamBam to open his mouth.

Mark unconsciously smiles when Jackson makes a funny face, still trying to make BamBam open his mouth. But then, Jackson’s eyes meet Mark’s from across the table and his heart starts to racing. Jackson gives him a tiny smile, the kind of smile that makes his eyes sparkles. Sometimes when Mark looks at Jackson and Jackson is looking back at him, he sees something. Something he is feeling but he can’t say. Mark knows he can’t deny his feeling towards Jackson. It’s hard to resist him. He admits that he wants whatever it is that his heart desires.

A few minutes later, Jackson has finished feeding BamBam. He wipes BamBam’s mouth and gives his baby a kiss on the forehead.

At that time, Mark sees himself falling for Jackson a little bit more.

 

* * *

 

Jackson takes Mark and BamBam to the amusement park—the ideal place for their first date. Mark couldn’t really express his feeling when Jackson said to him that he would like to take BamBam along with them on their first date. Now that they're in the amusement park, walking next to each other with BamBam in the middle, Mark thinks that this feels more like a family date. He blushes when Jackson's eyes catch his and immediately lowers his head.

 

"Mum, I want cotton candy!" BamBam exclaims in delight.

 

Mark chuckles. "Okay. We will get you one."

 

BamBam grins widely. He walks ahead of them, jumping and laughing. He looks so happy. Suddenly Mark feels bad for BamBam. He is too busy with school and work that he doesn't have time to take BamBam to good places. Jackson glances at Mark who suddenly becomes quiet and frowns when he sees him looks sad. He slowly moves to his side.

 

"Mark, are you okay?" he asks. Their hands brush slightly and Mark can feel a blush starts to creep on his neck.

 

"It's nothing. I just feel bad for BamBam."

 

Jackson frowns. "Why?"

 

"There are still so many things I can't give to him. He deserves everything, you know."

 

"Mark," he says softly. "You know BamBam doesn’t need money to make him happy. He only needs you.”

 

Mark narrows his eyes at him playfully. “You just want to make me feel better.”

 

“Yes, of course. But, trust me. You don’t have to worry about things like that. BamBam loves you so much, Mark. As long as he has you, he doesn’t need anything else. You want to know why?” 

 

There is a lump in his throat and Mark tries to swallow it. “Why?” he whispers.

 

“Because,” Jackson smiles and cautiously takes Mark’s hands without breaking their eye contact. “You make him happy. Really happy.”

 

Mark’s heart stops for a moment. He stands motionless, staring at Jackson’s genuine eyes. He hates him. He hates how Jackson can make his heart beats a little bit faster without really trying. He hates him for making him happy, really happy. He hates the fact that ever since Jackson comes into his life, his world only revolves around him. Mark hates it even more because Jackson does everything almost effortlessly.

 

“Mum, come here!”

 

Mark blinks when BamBam shouts his name. He turns his head and finds BamBam a few feet away from him, waving excitedly. He looks at Jackson again before releases his hand shyly. He runs towards BamBam without looking back.

A little later, Jackson watches Mark talking enthusiastically with BamBam. He answers all BamBam’s curious questions patiently. Jackson follows a few paces behind them, trying to focus on the crowd but able only to look at Mark’s small back, admiring him. The thing about Mark is that he always looks strong and independent. But if you look closely, his eyes carry the fear of a person about to be told a piece of very bad news. His shoulders look heavy like it carries the weight of the world. Something about Mark makes Jackson want to comfort him, offer him reassurance or a hand to hold.

When they first met, Jackson didn’t know that he would love Mark this much. He never loved anyone like this before. He never loved anyone like he loves Mark—so strong it physically hurts him. But right now, looking at Mark and BamBam happy faces, Jackson knows it’s all worth it. Mark and BamBam are worth more than second thoughts and maybes. And Jackson doesn’t regret a single thing.

 

* * *

 

After almost three hours, they had played most of the rides and games. By the time they are seated at a corner table of Korean restaurant to have lunch, BamBam is sound asleep in his mother’s arms. Mark rocks his baby gently and constantly wipes the sweats from BamBam’s face.

Jackson watches them silently. There could have been no more appropriate setting for Mark’s beauty. The sunlight that peeks through the windows throws soft shadows across his face and the black walls at the corner of the room match his black eyes. Suddenly Jackson loses all capacity either to think or speak and can only silently draws invisible patterns on the wooden table and takes unnecessary sips of water. This moment reminds Jackson of their first encounter. He remembered just how breathtaking Mark was when he first saw him. At that time Jackson thought Mark was an angel, looking so pure and delicate. He never fails to amaze Jackson.

Mark feels Jackson’s eyes on him and slowly lifts his head up. A blush decorates his cheeks when he realizes Jackson is staring at him bluntly.

 

“Is there something on my face?” he asks shyly, purposely avoiding Jackson’s intense gaze by looking at anywhere and anything but his eyes.

 

“No. You just look… beautiful.” He murmurs under his breath but Mark still can hear him.

 

“ _What?_ ”

 

Mark can feel a blush color his face and neck. He coughs awkwardly.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“What? I didn’t say anything wrong.”

 

“You always say something weird.”

 

Jackson shrugs his shoulder. “Well, I’m weird.”

 

“Yes, you are.” Mark smiles. “But that’s okay. I’m completely okay with that.”

 

“You’re completely okay with that because you like me?” he blurts out without thinking it twice.

 

This time, Jackson is the one who coughs loudly. He slaps his mouth with his hands. His eyes widen, so does Mark’s. Jackson curses inwardly. He watches the color drains from Mark’s face and he instantly feels bad for saying something without thinking it through.

He is about to say something—an apology—but their food arrives. Mark blinks his eyes. He gently wakes BamBam up and tells him to eat his lunch first before goes back to sleep. BamBam sits on his mother’s lap with half-lidded eyes, chewing his food slowly like a camel. They don’t talk to each other. Jackson keeps stuffing his mouth with food meanwhile Mark feeding BamBam. The awkwardness that hangs in the air is uncomfortable but Jackson doesn’t know how to break it. He needs to apologize to Mark. Sometimes his mouth and his brain are not in sync and Jackson hates it.

Mark is definitely mad at him. That’s the only thing Jackson can think at the moment. This is the end. Jackson hasn’t confessed his feeling to Mark yet but he’s already screwed everything up. _You are so dead Jackson Wang_ , he thinks inwardly.

On their way back to Mark’s apartment, Jackson is on the verge of crying because Mark refuses to look at him. His heart aches when Mark walks slightly far away from him, keeping a distance between them. He doesn’t even let Jackson carry BamBam. It’s over. Mark will hate him because of his stupid mouth.

If Mark hates him, Jackson is certain that his world will crumble down.

 

* * *

 

Mark still doesn’t say anything but he lets Jackson into his house. He walks straight to his room with Jackson trailing behind him. After he tucks BamBam on the bed and covers his body with a blanket, Mark leaves the room.

Jackson stays silent. It pains him when Mark doesn’t even look at him. As he watching Mark walks to the kitchen, Jackson feels like he’s about to burst. His feeling for Mark grows deeper and stronger with each day that passes by and Jackson can’t handle it. It overwhelms him. Every time he nears Mark, he can hear the beat of his heart getting louder. But Jackson can’t say anything to him. There are things that he has always been dying to tell Mark—things that slowly tearing him apart. Jackson needs to let it out. He needs to tell him before he’s late.

 

“I like you.” finally, he blurts it out.

 

Mark stops dead in his tracks. He slowly turns to Jackson. From where he’s standing, Jackson can see how Mark’s eyes slowly widen. He gulps loudly. It’s now or never.

Jackson takes big steps until he stands in front of Mark. He cautiously takes both of Mark’s hands in his. Mark doesn’t say anything. He is staring at him, bewildered. Jackson can feel Mark’s body trembles slightly and he moves closer until their faces only inches apart.

 

“Mark,” he starts slowly. “I'll get straight to the point because if I don't say what I have to say now, I fear it will never be said. And I need to say it. Mark, I like you. No, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I have always loved you from the very beginning. I loved you when I first saw you walking toward me at the library. I loved you when you smiled at me for the first time. You took my breath away effortlessly. And I loved you even more when I heard your laughter for the first time. It sounded so beautiful. Today I love you more than ever. Tomorrow I will love you even more. I need you more than ever. I want you more than ever. I'm here, a teenager crazily in love, asking you to give me a chance and love me back.”

 

By the time Jackson has done talking, he is out of breath. He looks at Mark, silently begging for an answer. But Mark is _shaking_. He can’t say anything at this very moment. Jackson slowly grabs his right hand and brings it to his chest. Mark can feel Jackson’s heartbeat under his palm.

 

“Mark, please say something,” he begs, growing anxious when Mark still doesn’t say anything in return.

 

But it is impossible to Mark to form a sentence. His eyes start to water and Mark knows the only way to answer Jackson is showing him his feeling instead of telling him. Mark moves ever so slowly. He leans in, their nose bumping into each other. Jackson’s other hand moves to Mark’s back, holding him closely.

And then, their lips touched for the first time. It is a feather-light touch and only lasts for a few seconds before Mark slowly pulls back. Jackson is panting softly as he rests his forehead against Mark’s.

It is quiet for a long moment. The only sound that can be heard is their breathing. But then, Jackson pulls back a little and straightens up. He takes both of Mark’s hand and kisses them warmly. When their gazes meet, Jackson’s face breaks into a blinding smile. His eyes curving up with his cheeks and the abundant light from the light behind his back makes it clear that they’re shining with unshed tears. 

 

“Mark, I love you,” he says ever so gently. “You don’t have to say it back. I just need you to know that.”

 

“I know,” Mark finally says in a whisper. “I know.”

 

“Okay.” He whispers back. “Can I kiss you again?”

 

Mark laughs in between his tears. Jackson bends his head down a little to press his lips lightly to Mark’s again. He wraps both of his hands around Mark’s waist, holding him close to his body. Mark shyly wound his arms around Jackson’s neck. When Jackson playfully pecks Mark’s lips a few times and purposely makes a loud noise, Mark laughs like he has the world in his tiny hands.

* * *

 


	6. All I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter. I had so much fun writing this. Thank you so much for showing so much love to this story. Thank you for all the kudos, comments, and everything.  
> This chapter is longer than the previous ones so I hope you guys enjoy it ♡

Everything seems unreal for Jackson.

Time slow down and his world only revolve around Mark. He tries to comprehend the surreal fact that Mark is now his. It seemed like it was only yesterday when he first saw him, falling in love like a mad teenager. But now Mark is here, in his arms. The heat from his skin sends a tingle down Jackson’s spine, overwhelming him. He had always been wondering how it felt like to have Mark in his embrace, completely his. Jackson can’t really describe his feeling right now. His heart feels so full, filled with love and joy.

A sigh of relief escapes from Jackson’s mouth. They’re still standing in the living room. Jackson just hugs him while Mark buries his face in Jackson’s chest. He leans down to press his cheek to the top of Mark’s head and closes his eyes. His fingers trail down the contours of Mark’s back, drawing small patterns. Jackson feels comfortable. He would be happy to just stand there forever, to never disturb the moment, but suddenly Mark yawns out loud and Jackson instantly laughs.

 

Jackson pulls back a little. He smiles sheepishly.  “I’m sorry. I’m just too happy to let you go.”

 

Mark chuckles. “I know. Your heart beats so loud, you know. I can hear it, loud and clear.”

 

“You’ve been listening to my heartbeat?” he asks playfully. “You creep.”

 

Mark pinches Jackson’s stomach. “Don’t start, you weirdo.”

 

“Okay, okay,” he laughs. “Let’s get you to bed.”

 

But Jackson doesn’t move. He bends his head forward, like he is about to kiss him. Mark closes his eyes but he feels Jackson’s lips brush against his throat instead, right on his pulse. Jackson chuckles and his hot breath tickles Mark’s skin.

 

“Yien,” he whispers softly.

 

Mark jumps a little at the sound of his new nickname. The way his Chinese name rolls off his tongue makes his whole body trembles. He never let anyone call him by his Chinese name because it reminds him of what happened years ago when he was still in California. But Jackson makes it sound beautiful and suddenly Mark thinks about home. He had learned that home wasn’t a place. Home could be anywhere and anyone.

Jackson feels like home. He smells like home. He is home.

Mark is abruptly overwhelmed by the fact that he isn’t alone anymore. He has Jackson with him. He knows that Jackson will never leave him or hurt him intentionally. He will never leave Mark behind. Mark doesn’t have to be afraid again. This moment is so perfect and it feels so right. This is what Mark has always wanted. He feels complete.

Mark doesn’t realize that he’s crying until Jackson kisses both of his wet eyelids gently.

 

“It’s okay, Yien,” he reassures him. “You have me. You’re okay now.”

 

“Jackson…”

 

Mark chokes on a loud sob. He buries his face in Jackson’s neck, sobbing quietly. Jackson shushes him and rocks him gently. Everything about Jackson screams love and Mark feels so loved right now.

 

“Are you all right now, Yien?” he asks after his crying subsides.

 

Mark nods. “Yes.”

 

Mark pulls his face away from Jackson’s neck. He blinks the tears out of his eyes and looks at Jackson’s smiling face.

 

Jackson wipes the tears from Mark’s cheeks with his fingers. “Let’s get you to bed.”

 

Jackson leads them to the bedroom. Mark climbs on the bed carefully, trying not to wake his baby. He gently hugs BamBam from behind. Jackson covers them with a thick blanket.

 

“Thank you for today.” He whispers softly. “I’m happy.”

 

“Yeah?” he hums as he brushing Mark’s hair gently.

 

“Yeah,” he says. “You make me happy, Jackson. Really happy, _dancing on air happy._ ”

 

Jackson chuckles. He bends down to kiss Mark’s red button nose. Mark blushes violently.

 

“Good night, Rudolph.”

 

Mark can feel his face flushes at another new nickname but his eyes twinkle in the darkness. He smiles softly at him.

 

“Good night, Jackson.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Jackson takes Mark to eat lunch with him. They walk through the hallway with their hands intertwined, earning gasps from people around them. Mark hates attention. He lowers his head, his cheek burns in embarrassment. He tries to wriggle his hand from Jackson’s hold but his boyfriend tightens it instead. Mark lifts his head up to look at Jackson and his breath hitches because his boyfriend is _glowing_. His face is brilliant with joy and his eyes sparkles, looking so bright and clear. But most importantly, he looks so proud like he just won a lottery or something.

Mark stares at him, trying to decipher the emotions from his face. And when Jackson turns to him, staring back at his eyes, it’s not so hard to tell that he’s happy. Jackson is happy and Mark knows he feels exactly the same right now.

 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

Mark blinks. “Nothing.”  

 

“Is my handsome face finally knocked you breathless?”

 

Mark rolls his eyes at him but his lips curve upwards a little. Of course Jackson is handsome and he does take Mark’s breath away but he will never admit it out loud. But for Mark, it’s not really important. His look is not important. What’s more important is how Jackson makes him feel something—something new, something deep, and something he can’t express with words. He never fails to make Mark falling for him a little bit more.

 

“What _the fuck_ is happening right now?”

 

Jackson jumps a little when he heard someone’s voice coming from behind him. He turns around and finds Jinyoung standing few paces away from him. He has both of his hands on his hip and his eyebrows furrowed, he’s clearly annoyed right now.

 

Jackson gulps nervously. “Jinyoung-ah…”

 

Jinyoung curses under his breath as he walking toward them. Jackson pushes Mark’s body behind him as to protect him.

 

“I can explain it!” Jackson exclaims frantically. Jinyoung slaps Jackson’s shoulder and pulls Mark to his side.

 

“Aw, it hurts!”

 

“Serve you right, Wang. Now shush. I have to talk with Mark hyung.”

 

When Jackson is about to protest, Jinyoung glares at him.

 

“ _Alone._ ” He hisses.

 

“But, Jinyoungie—“

 

“Shush, hyung. No buts.”

 

When Jackson tries to follow them, Jaebum shows up from behind him and immediately drags him to the canteen. Jackson can’t help but obey his friend. He knows better not to disturb Jinyoung when he’s annoyed like that.

Jinyoung takes Mark to the men’s bathroom. No one is here, it’s perfect for a private talk.

 

“Jinyoungie, I can explain—“

 

“Does he make you happy?” he asks abruptly, looking straight at Mark’s eyes.

 

Mark is taken aback by the question, doesn’t expecting Jinyoung to be so bluntly like that. It’s quiet for a long moment. But actually it isn’t hard to answer Jinyoung’s question because he already knows the answer.

 

He smiles at Jinyoung and nods.

 

“Yes, Jinyoungie.”

 

“Oh, hyung,”

 

Jinyoung feels like crying right now. He throws himself at Mark, hugging his friend tightly. Mark hugs him back just as tight.

 

“I’m so glad to see you happy, hyung,” he says genuinely. “I’m so happy for you.”

 

“Me too, Jinyoungie. Me too.”

 

Jinyoung pulls back, smiling widely at Mark.

 

“Just tell me if Jackson ever hurt you, okay?”

 

Mark chuckles. “He will never, you know that.”

 

Jinyoung can only smile in response, knowing perfectly that Mark’s right. He knows Jackson. His friend would never hurt Mark intentionally. He loves Mark a little bit too much to do such things.

Jinyoung hugs Mark again, swaying their bodies slightly and they laugh together. Finally, Mark has found his own happiness.  

 

* * *

 

Days pass by quickly.

After Jackson confessed to Mark, they told BamBam about their relationship. Mark had explained to his baby that now he’s together with Jackson. BamBam didn’t look surprised at all. He was ecstatic. Mark knows his baby had accepted Jackson from the very beginning. Jackson is now part of their lives—he’s part of Mark and BamBam.

Jackson spends more and more time at Mark’s place. Sometimes when Mark has to work right after school, Jackson will pick BamBam up from kindergarten and stays with him until Mark gets home. Jackson always picks him up in the morning so they can go to school together. But he’s always come 3o minutes earlier to help Mark gets BamBam ready for school while his boyfriend making breakfast. The two of them will send BamBam off to school, kissing him goodbye on the forehead and telling him to be a good kid. And Mark’s heart will always swell with love and adoration every time BamBam leans forward to kiss not only him but also Jackson.

Tonight is different from any other nights. It’s Friday and BamBam had decided to stay over at Yugyeom’s house until Sunday. Mark isn’t used to staying at home alone so he invites Jackson to come over. This will be the first time they will be spending time alone without BamBam. Mark didn’t know what’s gotten into him when he invited his boyfriend over but he knew he couldn’t back down when he heard how excited Jackson was. Jackson told him that he would buy some snacks on the way to his house.

Right before dinner time, Jackson arrives with two big plastic bags full of snacks. Mark looks at his boyfriend disapprovingly.

 

“You’re lucky BamBam isn’t here with us. He will definitely be ecstatic because you keep spoiling him with sweets and candies.”

 

Jackson looks at his boyfriend in disbelief. “Rudolph, you know I will never let our baby consume too many sweets. It’s not good for his health! These snacks are for us, okay?”

 

Mark tearing his gaze away from Jackson’s eyes, feeling his cheeks redden every time his boyfriend casually addresses BamBam as their baby. Jackson doesn’t seem to notice his own behavior though. His boyfriend has always been treated BamBam like his own child from the start, showering him with so much love. But after they’re dating, Jackson becomes bolder. It’s not like Mark hates it. In all honesty, Mark is beyond happy and his heart swells with so much love every time Jackson says the word “our”.  Because it means they’re in this together. It means Mark isn’t alone.

Mark doesn’t realize that he’s dozing off until he hears Jackson whines from the kitchen.

 

“Rudolph, I’m hungry~”

 

Mark chuckles and shakes his head. He walks to the kitchen, approaching his boyfriend.

 

“What do you want to eat for dinner?”

 

“Anything. You know I’ll eat everything you make even if it’s only rice and ketchup.”

 

Mark cringes. “You sap. Go away from my kitchen.”

 

Jackson whines. “You’re so mean.”

 

Jackson pouts, feeling dejected by his own boyfriend. Mark knows it is only an act but he still feels bad for him. He walks toward Jackson and stands in front of him. He pecks Jackson’s lips two times before he pulls back almost immediately. He giggles, soft and melodious.

 

“I’m sorry, Gaga. But could you please move so I can cook for us? It won’t take long, I promise.”

 

Jackson blinks at him and nods woodenly. Mark smiles and gives Jackson another soft peck on his lips before walking to the fridge, sorting out the ingredients that he needs.

Jackson walks to the living room dazedly, face flushed and breathless.

 

* * *

 

They decided to watch a movie after they had finished dinner. Mark sits on the couch, waiting for Jackson to come from the bathroom. He is back a few minutes later. He looks like he’d just washed his face. Jackson is wearing jeans and a black flannel t-shirt. It's his favorite color and it's a nice color on him. It makes his face sharper and his hair jet black and his mouth pink.

Jackson sits down on the couch next to him. There is no room for personal space. He picks Mark's hand up off the couch and holds it loosely in both of his, looking down at it as he always does, then running his fingertips along the back, up and down his fingers.

 

Mark takes a sharp breath. "What should we watch?"

 

Jackson hums, still looking at their intertwined fingers. "You're not into Disney right? Please tell me you're not."

 

Mark finally chuckles and relaxes.

 

"No. How about we watch The Notebook?”

 

Jackson lifts his head up and smiles softly, his eyes shine brightly. "That sounds perfect."

 

Mark nods. The more that Jackson touches his hand, the more that it tickles. He stretches out his fingers and takes a soft breath.

 

"Okay then.”

 

After Mark had set the DVD, he walks to the couch. But before he can sit, Jackson gently put his hands on his waist and pulls him on his lap, his board chest presses against Mark's back.

 

"Is this okay?” He whispers and Mark can feel Jackson's hot breath on his neck. His lips brush softly against his skin when he speaks.

 

Mark tries to swallow and nods. "Okay." he whispers back.

 

When the movie finally starts, Mark leans back against Jackson's chest and feels his chin in his hair. This is fine, Mark tells himself. He shouldn’t be nervous because this is Jackson. He will never do something Mark dislikes. This is new but honestly Mark doesn't feel weird or awkward. Jackson's body feels warm against his skin and he makes him feels safe and comfortable.

 

"Allie is cruel," Jackson says after half of the movie. "I feel bad for Noah."

 

Mark snorts. "You can't just blame her. She was afraid. What do you expect her to do after he met Noah after years? Throw himself at him and getting back together? She has a fiancée. It wasn't easy for her either."

 

Jackson chuckles. "I can't believe you just _rambling_ about movie plots. Usually you are quiet, so quiet."

 

"Shut up."

 

"Well, okay then. Let's just say you are Allie and I am Noah. What if we are in the same situation like them? What will you do?"

 

Mark doesn't answer right away. He tries to imagine him and Jackson going through the same hardship like Allie and Noah. Honestly, he feels a lot like Allie. He thinks too much sometimes and he always put others before himself. He tries to imagine himself live without Jackson and his heart instantly stops. Mark shudders, feeling something inside him twitch in an unpleasant way. He just can’t. He could never afford to lose someone like Jackson.

 

“I can never leave you,” he answers firmly after a long moment of silence. “I will find a way to make everything work out between us.”

 

Jackson moves his arms around his waist until he is holding him properly. Then he pushes his mouth below his ears.

 

"Yeah? But I am poor, remember? You parents don’t like me. They like rich guys like Lon. Besides, you're afraid to take risks in your life."

 

Mark closes his eyes and feels Jackson's coarse stubble against his skin, tickling him.

 

"But it's better than to lose you.” he answers softly. “I might hesitant like Allie because her mother had always been controlling her life. I might make stupid decisions. But if it was us, I knew you would never give up on us. You would never leave me when my father threatened you. Am I right?"

 

"You're right," he whispers, kissing the skin below his ear. Mark shivers slightly but he keeps his eyes closed as Jackson continues. "I would convince you over and over again. I might consider us to run away, going to somewhere far away where we can be together without having to worry about anything."

 

Mark's voice is tender when he speaks.

 

"That sounds so much like you."

 

"Yien," he says, breathing the scene of Mark's neck and it makes him flushes. "I really love you."

 

Mark's heart stops beating for a moment. He opens his eyes, breathless. Mark slowly turns toward Jackson, feeling his waist twist in his arms. His boyfriend seems to know what's exactly going on Mark's mind because the next thing he knows, he is straddling Jackson's hip. They are face to face. Jackson's chest rose steeply as Mark set both hands on his flannel shirt. Mark doesn't say anything. He focuses on his fingertips. Feeling the flannel, feeling Jackson underneath that, the ridges of muscle and bone. His heart beats under Mark's palm.

 

"Jackson?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I love you," he says for the first time. Jackson looks at him with wide eyes.

 

"Say it again," he says, his face breaks into a brilliant smile.

 

Mark laughs and then hangs his head forward, pushing his hands into his chest.

 

"I love you, Jackson."

 

Mark can feel Jackson's hands on his waist moves slowly to his back.

 

"Keep saying it," he says.

 

Mark smiles.

 

"I love you," he says, touching his nose to his chin. And then he laughs again. "I love your stubbles too."

 

Jackson groans. "I would've shaved if I'd known you were going to kiss me there."

 

Jackson's chin moves when he talks. Mark shakes his head lightly.

 

"I like you like this," he says, letting it scrape his nose and his cheek. "I like you here. So much."

 

Jackson swallows hard and set his lips on his chin. "Yien..."

 

Mark just realizes just how close they are. He brings his hands up to Jackson's neck. God, Jackson is warm—skin so warm and thick. He slides his fingers into his hair, cradling the back of his head.

 

"Yien," he says and swallows. "Can I kiss you?"

 

Mark nods and gives him a smile that takes his breath away. "Yes."

 

Jackson pulls him forward gently. He leans into him and Mark can feel the heat between them, feel his body moves, and feel his arms tight around him. It feels so right to be here. Everything feels so right.

It couldn't have been more perfect. Jackson kisses him softly on the lips. Mark brings one of his hands to his face and touches his cheek, brushing it softly with his fingers. Mark kisses him back tenderly. They both have their eyes closed. Jackson parts his lips as he runs his fingers up and down his arms, slowly, lightly. He moves his lips to kiss his cheek, his nose, his eyelids, and a whimper rose in Mark's throat as Jackson gently lifts his T-shirt and touches his bare skin with his cold fingers.

Mark's head is spinning as Jackson pulls back from him, looking at him with hazy eyes.

 

"Yien, we're not going to do anything you dislike. We can always stop."

 

Mark feels like crying right now. Jackson is always considerate when it comes to him and BamBam. He always gives and gives without asking for anything as feedback. Mark's world seems dreamlike and his mind is foggy but right now he feels more confident than ever. His heart feels full with so much love. He loves Jackson so much and he wants him to know that. He wants him to feel his love. Mark wants to show Jackson just how much he loves him.

Without speaking, he starts to undo the buttons on his flannel shirt. Jackson watches him as he does it and listens to his soft breaths as he makes his way downwards. With each button Jackson can feel his fingers brushing against his skin and Mark smiles softly at him when he finally finishes. Mark slides his hands inside, touching him lightly, exploring his body. Jackson's body shudders and the grip on Mark's waist tightens. Mark kisses his neck gently as he pulls the shirt over his shoulder. With that, Jackson slowly reaches for Mark with trembling hands. He lifts his shirt and runs his fingers slowly across his belly before raising his arms and slipping it off. Mark feels short of breath as Jackson's hands gently caress his bare skin: his back, his stomach, his arms.

Jackson brushes Mark's hair away from his face.

 

"You're beautiful," he says fondly.

 

Mark wrinkles his nose in protest. Jackson smiles tenderly at him.

 

"You are."

 

Mark flushes. “Shut up and kiss me.”

 

“You’re cute, Rudolph,” he laughs softly and kisses his cute button nose. “My Rudolph.”

 

Mark’s whine dies down on his throat when Jackson claims his lips again, hot and fierce. Suddenly, Jackson’s large hands cup his buttocks and give it a gentle squeeze. Mark can’t stop a moan that spills from his lips, gripping his boyfriend hair roughly. Jackson groans on their kiss and sneaks his tongue into Mark’s mouth. Without breaking their kiss, Jackson pushes his body ever so gently as they lay back. Mark’s back falls flat on the couch as Jackson crawling over him and settles himself in between Mark’s parted legs, keeping his weight off his boyfriend. Mark runs his hands through Jackson's hair as he holds himself above him.

 

“Do you trust me, Yien?”

 

“Yes,” he answers him in a heartbeat. “I trust you, Gaga.”

 

“I love you,” he whispers.

 

“I love you too.” He whispers back.

 

That night, Mark cries aloud and presses his fingers hard into Jackson’s back as he enters him for the first time. He feels him deep inside him, feels his strength and gentleness. That night, they sleep in each other's arms, perfect and content.

 

* * *

 

Hours later when Mark wakes up, he finds himself lying across Jackson’s chest comfortably. They are curls up on Mark’s bed, intertwines as much as it is possible. Jackson fingers trails down the contours of Mark’s spine, caresses his bare skin softly. Mark tightens his arms around his neck, holding himself closer to his boyfriend. He can hear Jackson’s heartbeat under his ear, steady and melodious.

Mark whines when Jackson tries to untangle their bodies.

 

“Baby, wake up.”

 

“No~”

 

Jackson chuckles. “Rudolph, it’s late. You need to eat.”

 

“No~”

 

Mark throws one leg over Jackson’s waist and tightens his hold on Jackson’s neck. Jackson’s heart swells, he doesn’t expect Mark to be this clingy. His boyfriend is way too cute for his own good.

 

“Baby,” he says, stroking Mark’s head gently. “How about shower?”

 

“No~”

 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

 

“I just want to feel you a little bit longer,” he murmurs under his breath but Jackson still can hear him.

 

“Oh, baby,” he coos softly, wrapping his arms around Mark’s shoulder, brings their bodies impossibly closer.

 

Mark can feel Jackson’s lips on his hair when he speaks.

 

“All right, then. I’ll let you do whatever you want, Rudolph.”

 

Mark giggles and kisses Jackson’s neck gently.

 

“You’ll stay, right?” he asks.

 

Jackson chuckles and kisses his forehead.

 

“I’ll be stuck here all day.”

 

Mark grins. “Good. I want you to be stuck with us for a very long time.”

 

“You can’t take it back,” he reminds him playfully.

 

Mark pulls his face from Jackson’s neck. He lifts his head up and finds Jackson staring at him with open love and adoration.

 

Mark smiles at him. “Never.”

 

Mark climbs on top of Jackson, takes his face in between his hands and starts to attack his face with wet kisses. They laugh breathlessly and continue to lie there blissfully.

That day, when Mark once again feels Jackson deep inside him, he realizes just how fortunate he is to be able to meet someone like Jackson. Mark feels lucky to have him and to be with him. He had finally found someone who can show him the real happiness. He had found his home.

 

* * *

 


End file.
